??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
i now understand why vodka
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
