when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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