my phone needs a breathalizer
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I'm bleeding and have questions
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
