Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
