My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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