yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
