I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
