new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
