Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
