Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
how does that bad decision feel?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
