pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
