With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
