My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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