So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
she peed on how many people?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
But theres a keg here and me gusta
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
