Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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