You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Randomize
