The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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