it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
