If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
