come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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