i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
