In the future we'll all be gay
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
