I like to think it a success when the cops are called
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I need to sanitize my soul.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
