Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
