My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
