hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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