FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
