he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
