She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
