Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
