I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
