So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
