3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
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