Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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