I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
