singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
