Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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