"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
