Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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