And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
