Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
