what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
