D3 body, D1 cock
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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