he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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