I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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