ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
