is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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