exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
