O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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