did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
