I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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