So drunk its hurt
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
