Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
