And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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